Category: United States of America

After the extra long train journey from Mount McKinley down to Whittier, we’re more than relieved to see the giant cruise ship waiting for us in the bleak weather. Although we’re both exhausted I’m buoyed by the excitement of being on my first cruise ship… and the bars are still open. Thanks to Diana and Gordon’s generosity, we have the Princess Plus package which means we can enjoy up to 15 alcoholic beers per day. Say no more, where is the nearest bar? As Alex and I sit by the window sipping our tasty concoctions we notice we’ve set sail and we toast to our maiden voyage together. We sample a couple of items from the bar menu and consider heading to bed.. but then Emma appears! Maybe there is time for another round. Feeling adventurous we explore the ship, cocktails in hand, curious to see the ‘Sky Walkers’ nightclub. Will it be full of teenagers raving away at midnight? No. There are a handful of other exhausted passengers sitting in what could be described as a “gentle” atmosphere for a club. We make our way back to our cabin, unsure if our swaying is because of the ocean or the booze we’ve quickly guzzled.

From here I’ll list out some of the highlights and observations from our wonderful cruise experience:

• Testing out the health care options (thanks to Diana) on morning one after realising the sickness was actually not just the hangover
• Deal or No Deal game show on the stage. We were desperate for one of us (Emma was nominated to represent) to get up on stage to try and win a big prize but sadly we were not chosen. Still we got to play along with the chance to win $1000 or even a free cruise!!! We won one free entry to bingo instead
• Taking part in many quizzes we were never very good at but a great way to pass the time and enjoy a cocktail or two
• Getting back to our cabin and sitting out on the balcony looking up at the stars. We may not have seen the Northern Lights but this was still an incredible sight
• The ginormous buffet with a myriad of gourmet options, so, so much food to be tried!
• Exploring the ship and getting lost on many occasions. “Head port-side in the Aft direction”, sure mate
• Going for a 5km run in Juneau. Alex scouted out a great route and it was nice to get off the boat to stretch our legs
• As well as the Horizon buffet were five or so “themed” restaurants we could go to in an evening. We tried each one at least once and enjoyed food such as sirloin steak and lobster tail, Alaskan salmon, beef wellington and so much more. Honestly the food was quite incredible which makes me very happy
• Ordering cocktails to be delivered to our room, (or wherever we were in the ship) dangerous but so good!
• An incredible train excursion with Diana and Gordon in Skagway along the old railway line used during the Gold Rush. There are stunning views all around as we climb up and up into the bleak forgotten lands of past hopes and dreams of striking it rich. We briefly pass back into Canada at this point but as we do not get off the train, we do not need to bring our passports!
• A “scenic cruise” day passing by and parking up next to giant glaciers. Also looking out for eagles, bears, seals, sea-lions, whales, dolphins and other ocean dwellers, we mostly saw seagulls but the chance was there!
• Cashing in our ‘cruise credits’ for a wonderful and relaxing massage in the spa area
• Emma showing us how to play Blackjack in the casino (we just watched the gambling happen after feeling like we had peaked in Vegas)
• Using the gym in some vain attempt to stay in shape while eating 16 courses a day
• Watching for wildlife off the back of the boat. There were rumours of whales swimming in the wake of the boat but we must have missed them
• Realising one of the bars sold an 11% Belgian beer… because I had not had enough booze by this point
• Entertaining the kids for the day while Ben and Emma went out for an adventure, it mostly involved dropping them off and picking them up from kids club, but we did our duties!
• Seeing the gorgeous Alaskan husky puppies being paraded around, sadly we weren’t allowed to hold them but my God they were adorable
• Using the spa area in the sunshine
• Watching Man Utd in the casino bar
• The fantastic lumberjack show, YOHO!
• Playing a bowling-like arcade game definitely intended for teenagers. Alex only won because in my eagerness I did not press the “start” button on my final go when I scored the required 50 points…
• Watching the evening stage shows, the musicals were not my usual thing but it was nice to see everyone enjoy them so much. I did enjoy the magician though, he was great
• One show of dances around the world really showed how difficult Irish dancing is (especially with a boat that rolling all over the place)
• Spotting the clumps of sea-otters playing around in and on the ice-bergs. One was even sun-bathing on a perfectly sized slan
• Observing a man expertly craft a grizzly bear sculpture from ice in under 30 minutes
• Taking a wonderful out-and-back through some woodland with Ben
• Speaking with a lady who had been on an excursion where you can catch salmon and even send it home to eat! I think she said her teenage boys caught something like 15 fish so they’ll be sick of salmon quite soon
• A lovely meal on the last night, after a couple of aperitifs in Diana and Gordon’s cabin
• The sunset on the last night as dolphins swim in the wake of the boat and we sip cocktails in the warmth of a Jacuzzi, it was really tough on this cruise I tell ya

Some photos from the boat trip:

Epilogue

As we depart the boat, just before we say goodbye to Gordon, Diana, Ben, Emma, Matti and Eddy, there’s time for a final group photo in front of the Vancouver sign with our vessel sitting nicely in the backdrop.

Alex and I are back to just the two of us to see out the last few hours of our epic journey. We have quite a few hours to kill until the “street art” walking tour begins. We decide to head back to the lovely Stanley Park and kill a few hours lazing around in the sun and watching the world go by. Both of us are beginning to feel the reality of coming home really start to set in, causing a heady mix of emotions.

Eventually we head back into the heart of town to join the walking tour and also meet up with Ben and Jen, BenEmma’s friends that we did the road trip to Seattle with a couple of weeks ago. The walking tour covers a bunch of murals dotted across Vancouver. One of which we were right next to the other day when we hired bikes here and didn’t even notice it. There are some incredible stories behind these stunning murals (we will add a link to them soon).

After the tour ends, we head for some dinner at a nearby Turkish restaurant and have a good chat over some yummy Mediterranean food. Alex and I abstain from alcohol after consuming a months worth on the cruise ship! Alex and I go back to the hotel where we got off the cruise ship to collect our bags and head over to Ben and Jen’s apartment. We settle down for the final night of the trip, barely able to believe it has come to an end and uncertain what the future might bring when we are back home.

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Adventure – My first cruise, and what a cruise it was, I can safely say I am converted! The stunning sunset on the final night, it felt like a fitting end to a wonderful journey.

Excitement – The thrills of the lumberjack show. Finding the cake bar and the many desert options. Waking up to clear blue skies after the mist had shifted on the third day.

Trauma – Sea sickness (it soon settled after the rough waters of the first day). Apprehension of returning home.

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The Highlights from the Whole Land and Sea Cruise

Alex – getting to enjoy some proper time with the boys, who are so wonderful and polite and adorable, thanks to the amazing team that is my bro and Emma. Can’t lie, getting a snippet of life like the wealthy of just having whatever you wanted brought to you whenever you wanted and not worrying about the cost, especially after a year of backpacking, it was a bigger treat that usual, thanks so much mum and Gordon! The Seaplane and seeing Vancouver from an amazing perspective.

Ben – Beautiful forest walks through Jurassic Park, Rafting fun, Sunny glacier views and seeing a chunk fall off!

Eddie – hot tub, pool, (big) boat

Emma – Kayaking and river rafting (both fun in different ways). Enjoying the boys having fun with you all and seeing the world through their eyes. Learning about a part of the world I have no knowledge or experience of and would never have had the opportunity to visit without your kindness, Diana and Gordon.

Gordon – I) the small river taxis around Vancouver, ii) closeness to wildlife in Alaska, iii) the seaplanes, and not forgetting Eddie’s blue ice cream experience in Denali! 😁

James – Spotting wildlife in Denali Park (while hoping for a glimpse of Mt McKinley), living the high life on the luxurious boat, spending time with everyone whether on a thrill seeking rapid ride or relaxing train journey.

Matti – Kayaking, magic show, the whole boat

Diana – (ignoring the request for just three, I bring you 15!) – 1) The walk along the forest in Denali. 2) Cruising along glacier bay towards the big glacier and the family gathering on the shared balcony enjoying the view of the glacier so near to us. 3) Seeing [everyone] happy and enjoying the last night on board with the amazing sunset, jacuzzi and dolphins swimming alongside. 4) Seeing [everyone] enjoying the food on board. 5) Movies under the stars: seeing the end of Top Gun with popcorn. 6) Seeing the boys so happy in the ship’s pool. 7) Walking endlessly along the Promenade on Deck 7 and watching the sea going by. 8) Vancouver Island – all of our day in it ending with a drink at the Fairmont. 9) Seaplane!!! 10) The shows on board with a myriad of exotic drinks. 11) Playing cards in our cabin and being introduced to “blind donkey”! 12) Cycling around Stanley Park.13) The day to Mendenhall Glacier and falls. 14) The train views along the train ride up to White Pass and the Yukon. 15) Dancing in the Piazza with Emma on the last day!!!!….just CELEBRATING LIFE!

Up next is our land cruise before joining the cruise ship in Whittier. We start this part making our way to Anchorage in Alaska from Seattle. Having all survived the night in our (hopefully) last, respective crappy motels (and hotel for one couple 😉), we say farewell to the “Lower 48” and make it up to the 49th state of Alaska. The views in from the plane are nothing short of spectacular, and James and I enjoy sharing the ride with my nephew Matti, as I teach him how to play Animal Crossing (thanks Hector!), and James shows him photos and videos from our adventures under the sea. He’s such a lovely kid.

It’s funny to now be in Hawaii’s sister joining state and hearing their admittance story from the other side. Oddly enough they seem to have a bit in common, despite their vast geographical differences. They both are an important military location, and they’re both so far away from anywhere that everything is incredibly expensive! Their way of life seems so vastly distinct from anything else in the lower 48, that it is understandable this state is hugely Republican, a state of independent people surviving in tough terrains, many living a subsistence lifestyle, needing and wanting nothing from the State but to be left alone.

Our travelling style is now vastly different from the last 11 months, everything is organised for us. Bliss! We’re almost a bit lost not having to be constantly researching our next steps and location. Happily so though, as the cruise company Princess arrange a bus to pick us up and ferry us to our hotel. So easy! But first, we need to get a safety briefing for how to survive our 13 minute bus ride. The kid delivering the long list of instructions and warnings, like a warnings label at the end of a pharmaceutical advert, finally gets going and tells us all about Anchorage and life up here. He’s also not from here, but he’s incredibly knowledgeable, as we learn all about “float planes” (what we’ve been calling sea-planes up to this point). That you can get a pilot’s licence at 14 (before a driving licence), wheel covers are used to stop dogs peeing on their wheels, which will attract bears at their destinations, jeeps cut in half to create the platforms that roll them into the water, and how Anchorage has boomed since the war on Ukraine, becoming the largest distribution centre in the world. With distribution companies (from certain companies) no longer able to refuel in Russia, they are having to come over here. This means that they have to carry more fuel and less cargo, making the journey more expensive.

Our little intro to Anchorage complete, we’re now welcomed to our hotel for the night by another staff member. They’ve done all the thinking for us! A welcome change of pace of us having to figure out the logistics ourselves. James and I are told that we have the “Junior Suite”. If our travelling has taught us anything, it’s that the names of rooms almost indirectly relates to what you get. Like an estate agent, the grander the adjectives, the worse it is. We shrug and move on from the surly hotel manager, eager to get some grub in all our bellies.

Lunch today is atop a huge brewery our bus-driver recommended, and our server is even more friendly than him. Jovan, originally from Jamaica, is the perfect host. I don’t think I’ve seen a server love his job more than anyone else, as he chats away with us and gives us the perfect amount of attention, he even entertains the kids some, telling us he has one on the way next year himself.

Having enjoyed our Alaskan salmon, yak burgers, fish and chips, and the rest, we head back to check into our rooms. James and I are a good few floors away from the family, and open our door to an actual suite! Not a proverbial one. We have our own living room! What a shift in accommodation from our stinky motel room!

We all sort out various bits and bobs for the rest of the day, whilst James and I make the most of the hotel facilities, namely the men’s and women’s “Athletic Centres”, respectively. The decor in this grand hotel harks back to a bygone age (it is named Hotel Captain Cook after all), and so we envisage smoking rooms for the men, and beauty rooms for the women. Thankfully, the only difference seems to be that James gets a huge gym playground with even a squat rack. My gym is far smaller and full of the cardio machines women often favour over building strength, but there’s enough for me to work out with. I don’t think I could even lift an empty barbell these days so it’s probably for the best!

Coach Trip

We’re up early once more before being herded onto our next coach with the rest of the silver surfers. Expecting to catch up on sleep for the next few hours as we’re carted to our next destination, we all hunker down for a snooze. “GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY….” booms the loud speaker. We get our already familiar safety briefing, and are off as our driver seems to once more be a tour guide! The next few hours are spent hearing all about everything around us and his life. We start off learning about a plant called fire weed, that was believed to signal the first snow fall in nine weeks with its flowers… it is flowering already! Moose eyes don’t reflect, making them even harder to spot in the dark. He jokes about the characters who choose to live up in this odd part of the world, cut off from everywhere and largely unpopulated. “The odds are good but the goods are odd” he jokes when referring to a bachelor auction each spring after being in the dark and isolation for the winter months before, and the tiny town of Talkeetna that we drive through has a mayor, it is a cat. On the way, we are even lucky enough to speed by a moose just munching away on the foliage roadside. Too quick to photo, we’re nevertheless excited to finally get to see these odd-shaped creatures!

Our next accommodation is a spectacular wooden cabin surrounded by woodland. We’re told that we can’t access one part of the trails around the complex because there is a baby moose up there and it wouldn’t be safe! More moose!!! Considering our initial reaction is to go and see said baby moose, they’re definitely right to close off the area for the safety of probably everyone involved.

We have lunch and kill time and energy in the nearby playground despite the rain. Teaching the kids wrestling (largely in an attempt to find a way to stop them breaking one another by introducing them to the tap-out rule, to rather marked success I might add), and testing James’s strength. This is the definition of rough-housing.

Next up we’re going to check out a talk by someone who lives up in Denali’s base camp during the climbing season, being in charge of the many planes that bring climbers in and out of base camp. It’s a desolate landscape and challenging life but she clearly loves it. We learn about what it takes to climb this elusively seen peak, that until now we had never heard of. It is the highest mountain peak in North America, it is also colder than Everest. However, you don’t need oxygen to climb Denali like you do for Everest, but you also have to carry your own gear, no sherpas in these parts! She tells us of the grueling 21 day journey, where you climb up to point B with half your stuff, go back down to A, and do it all again with the rest of your stuff, effectively climbing it twice in one go. Those that come back, desperate for bed and a pint, may find themselves stuck at base camp for n days as the weather can turn on a dime. The planes can’t land on soft snow, so part of everyone’s job (including potentially stuck climbers waiting to get off) is to walk the landing strip to compact the snow down so that the planes can land again. Toilet-wise, this area well protected and managed by the rangers, is a personal bucket that you carry with you. There’s only one dumping spot allowed on the mountain, a crevass in the glacier! One more reason to protect the glaciers from melting!

A fascinating talk into a life so completely different from our own. After, we enjoy a lovely dinner with another spectacular server, once more gifted some cards and colouring in. The clouds are somewhat parting as we check out the campfires, enjoy some smores, and head back over to the main lodge to check out the surrounding mountains.

Northern Nights

We finish the day with a film featuring the Northern Lights. It was put together by a guy who spent his life finding the best ways to capture this natural spectacular. At first, frames were your standard, more square-like ratio, which kept cutting off the sides of the amazing landscapes around him, so he created a setup of three cameras on a platform that would capture the image instantly, and he would stick them together to make the landscape aperture by hand. We take this ratio for granted now with our phones able to do it with a quick click of a button! The guy spent 30 years capturing the perfect footage, and the short film we are shown is the collection of his best works. It starts with an incredible static shot that ever-so-gradually changes, so subtly you think you just didn’t spot that one yellow plant in the corner, but soon enough you realise that this isn’t a photo, but a video of the changing seasons. Unlike other timelapse photos where a plant flaps about in front in the wind, giving away the passing time and natural growth getting in the way of the shot, literally nothing moves in the photo. It’s unlike any timelapse I’ve seen. The rest features spectacular footage of the Northern Lights, and also the World Ice Sculpture Championship.

Some info on the Northern Lights… they’re created by solar flares from the Sun, that burst out and start moving towards the Earth. Thanks to our amazing developments in astronomy, this means we’re now quite able to predict when the northern lights will occur by tracking when solar flares start making their way to Earth. The colour of the lights depends on the strength of the flare (for reasons I couldn’t follow). The energy from the flare comes towards Earth and is drawn to the top and bottom of the poles due to the magnetic fields, causing halo effects around these poles. It’s this energy that activates the ions in the air and causing the light that we see. It is only by seeing them from the side that you see the more-typical curtain effect. Of course I couldn’t film the film, and we don’t see any on our travels, so it’ll be one that remains on the bucket-list for now.

Lessons Learned

The next day the rest of the family have some activities booked, but James and I are just having a quiet day enjoying doing nothing, a rare event when backpacking around, always planning for the next days. We start off with a quick run around the grounds with Ben, passing by ‘The Treehouse’ that was previously closed due to a moose calf. It’s another beautiful wooden lodge in the forest hills above.

After our quick jaunt in the rain, we enjoy a big buffet breakfast to set everyone up for the day, and then James and I check out a couple more talks on bears and mooses. The ranger providing the talks is so enthusiastic and clearly loves his job. We learn loads about these two fascinating animals that live in this region.

Bears – Polar beers are considered marine mammals. If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown, lie down. They can run faster than humans, 30-40mph. If you come across a bear, you want to not panic, as this will make you look like prey. Don’t scream or flap your arms. Talk to it normally, and put your arms in the air to make yourself look big. You used to be able to protect your food by hanging it between two trees but bears can climb, and they learned to cut the ropes. This is why there are so many bear boxes now! We learn how to tell the difference between a black and a grizzly. That black bears are often not black. The biggest grizzly/brown bears are found in Alaska, on Kodiak Island, so they are called Kodiak bears. The size of the brown bear depends on how much it hibernates, so the ones in the coldest areas that hibernate longer, will eat less and be smaller. The kodiak bears don’t hibernate, so just eat all your round and are the biggest. Female bears can give birth whilst in hibernation! Bears mostly eat berries, but during salmon season, brown bears will sit in the water and wait for one to swim into its belly and grab it. The black bears will be further downstream to get any remnants or leftovers as these two don’t really get on, they tolerate one another, but they don’t mix. Even amongst themselves, they’re pretty solitary creatures. The biggest predator to baby bears is male bears, as the female bears will not be able to get pregnant whilst they still have their cubs around, so the male bear will kill them so the female will go back into heat and he can impregnate her. Nice. Most incidences with black bear attacks are because someone has startled one that was near its house, usually checking out their bins. The black bear will likely be inquisitive at first, give you a tap to see your reaction and ascertain if you are prey, and decide whether to attack or not. If you get tapped, you punch it in the nose to show it you are not prey. If you get charged at by a brown bear however, you should lie down, either in a ball or face down to protect your vital organs. It will probably try and roll you over and give you a few damaging swipes, but hopefully won’t kill you. I don’t fancy my odds with that one! Bear spray is basically mace, and will likely do you more damage than the bear, so unless you want to fight a bear blind, best not to use it.

Moose – Moose are the state mammal. The largest moose in the world is from up here, the Alaskan Yukon Moose. Normal moose get to 6ft tall, the moose up here are 7 ft tall at the shoulders, with antlers they can get to 9 or 10ft tall. The older the moose the blacker it gets. Scientists don’t know what the lump dangling from its neck is for. It’s just a hairy flop of fat. One idea is that it’s a decoy or added protection if attacked from below, either way, there is no actual name for it. Moose have one coat of fur, to protect them from freezing water, but also the immense heat in summer. Because of this, they like hiding in still water to cool off, but to also get rid of mosquitos. Autumn lasts only 2 weeks up here. The moose eat bark and twigs during winter. Their antlers can get up to 70lbs, and 7 feet across. They shed and regrow them every year! They grow to their biggest at 10-12 years old, they live to about 16. They grow half an inch every day, only growing them for 4 months! How they can grow these huge antlers in 4 months is very impressive! The antlers are covered in something called velvet, which they need to rub off to allow the antlers to grow, except this is like pulling off a layer of skin as the keratin below has a blood supply, and so they rub them off on willow bushes (which is where aspirin comes from!), revealing bloody, red antlers underneath. If you see a photo of a moose with bleeding antlers, it is from this process, not because they’ve just slaughtered a tourist. The mating ‘dance’ for moose is that they all get together, the males practice fight, pee into the mud and spray themselves with their new muddy-wee combo, they proper fight, the females then roll themselves in the muddy-wee combo of the winner. Lovely. The winner gets all the females. Baby moose are so imbalanced it takes them longer to start walking than horses (still only two days). At day five they can outrun humans. Within four months they are 10 times their birthmass. The calf stays with the mum until just before the mum has another calf, they can only look after one round of calves at a time. Although they often have twins and sometimes triplets. Once the mum is ready for her next round of impregnation, she will kick the calf away until it gets the message to piss off. Serious rejection! If a moose attacks, you RUN, you want to get something in between the moose and you, like a tree, not your partner. More people are killed by moose than bears, probably because people think moose aren’t dangerous, but it’s easy to tell if a bear is about to attack, where moose will just flip a switch and go for you with no warning. Despite their mopey appearance, they are serious business. Don’t “risk it for a biscuit”, as our ranger says. It is only the male moose that have antlers (with caribou, males and females do).

That evening we enjoy another yummy dinner, and play cards with Ben and Emma in the main lodge. Mid-game, everyone in the lodge is suddenly up at the windows looking out. One other thing we’ve learnt from travelling is that the best way to spot something is following the tourists’ gaze. And we are rewarded once more. There is a baby moose outside!

The ranger in the building tells us that the mother moose was around before, but she’s not been seen for a while. In all likelihood, she has been the victim of a traffic accident. Which means that in all likelihood for the calf, they will be the victim of a predator attack without the protection of its mother. The circle of life at its finest. Soon enough, a staff member comes whizzing by in a golf cart to scare the poor calf away. The ranger explains that they don’t want it getting familiar and comfortable around humans, it needs to maintain its fear. Sadly, I suspect this is the safest place for it right now, without its mother to protect it, but we inflict enough on nature without breaking the food chain for the other animals in the region on top.

Denali National Park

Next up on the coach trip is moving on up to Denali National Park. Compared to our remote lodge in the woods, this area is a buzzing metropolis. Princess have their own village of stores, eateries, bars and cafes to choose from, on this location just by the river. We arrive and are directed to our different buildings once more, and lumber our way in the (now all too familiar) rain to our room. Loe and behold, we have another suite!

We can’t figure out our luck on this trip, but we’ll take it. No time to relax though, as Ben, Emma, James and I are booked to go rafting!

If one thing has been consistent on this trip, it’s the kind of people who work at commercial rafting companies. They are too cool for school and forever young, as they instruct us on the order of play for the day, and also how to get ourselves dressed into our first ever dry suits. The dry suits are giant baby grows, with tight wrist and neck holes, and all-in-one rubber booties. To protect these rubber feet from getting a hole in them, we’re all given old, decrepit shoes. Whilst everyone else gets battered running shoes, I am given some Converse! The suits are a one-size-fits-all kind of job, which means we all look FABULOUS.

It’s a quick ride to our setting off point, but not before our newly qualified teacher (woop woop) Emma is voluntold to tick off the items from the safety briefing. Unlike in Costa Rica, this one doesn’t make us think we’re going to die. But we are told that if we fall in, we should swim! I guess it’s a lot colder up here to just calmly float down the freezing river. We are grouped up with another adult-family group consisting of two sisters, one of their husbands, and their dad Joel, who must be in his eighties. Our guide is called Mike, and he’s the eldest raft guide of the group, by a solid margin. He is ever the professional, which puts our other group a bit more at ease, as one of them is conquering a fear having never rafted before. Joel, the dad, sits behind me, as Ben volunteers himself up front in the splash zone, with James jumping to the call to be at his side. Emma and I sit in the middle behind the boys. It is a rip-roaring ride, with Emma goading Mike to take us into bigger rapids, as the daughter behinds holds her nerve, and Joel whoops with excitement.

The river itself is a murky grey, the colour of many a post-sink-clothes-wash, and it is coooooold. It doesn’t take long before we get our first splash soaking those of us up front and making sure we’re well and truly awake. Ben definitely takes the brunt of the splashes, but the family behind us don’t manage to get away with it for much longer. Due to all the rain, the river is high and fast, but we still get a really long ride. Ripples that look like nothing give us huge face-fulls of water, and we roll right over many an intimidating looking wave. Mike really knows his stuff in directing us down this ever changing commute.

At one point, Joel asks for some bigger waves, to which Emma laughingly asks over the roaring water, “are you trying to kill us Joel?!”, his response… “well I think I’ve lived long enough! 😉”. Joel is loving life. The way he whoops and cheers with unbound glee as though he were 8, not 80 is surely inspiring, he really is young at heart, teaching me once more to not judge an older person by their age. He had more energy and excitement than all of us, including Emma!

We make it to the end where Mike teases, if anyone did want a swim, now is the time. I think he’s joking, but Ben and Emma go for it! They lower themselves into the freezing water and float alongside us. James gets a huge bout of FOMO and jumps in after, giving himself some serious cold water shock instead. Everyone is hauled back onto the boat as we park up the rafts and head back to warmth. Despite us all insisting our booties must have holes in them as our toes are damp and freezing… all our feet are bone dry. Mike explains, “our bodies can’t tell the difference between cold and wet”, another lesson learned!

Natural History Tour

Our next day is spent getting to know the National Park we are now staying in. We finally get some clarity around the naming of this here land, and also around the infamous (except to us) elusiveness of being able to see the namesake of the park.

Prior to being a National Park and Preserve, this land and mountain was called Denali by the native people on this land. Prospectors came in the gold rush age, and one who did manage to strike it rich, wanted to ensure the now familiar ‘gold-standard’ was brought in to secure his wealth, instead of the alternatively prospective ‘silver-standard’. In order to influence the decision, this prospector offered to name the mountain after presidential candidate McKinley. And so it was done. Until the age of reckoning, where the white folk started realising the harms they had done to the native Americans, and starting un-naming places, renaming McKinley Park back to Denali Park. The mountain, however, kept its President’s name for a while longer, until Obama finally signed off on the mountain also being given back its original name in 2015. A small but meaningful move.

Our driver and guide today is a wonderfully calm and informative voice in our bus. We’re informed to yell “Stop!” if we see anything, and indeed this is yelled a few times. Largely for some birds, but also for some Caribou (as expertly spotted by Ben!). Fun fact, Caribou are reindeer.

We make a brief stop for a little bimble in the woods as we are taught about spotting moose action that has stripped some willow bushes bare. But also, a snapped portion, that gives away not just the presence of a hare, but also the snow-line where the hare would have been a good foot or so in the air by comparison. It’s incredible to imagine this vast land covered in feet of snow and how anything can survive out here during those long months. We are also given an introduction to a log cabin (rebuilt for educational purposes) showing how life used to be like. The windows are lined with nails sticking out to stop bears coming in.

On our way back round, a spruce grouse comes to show off its tail-feathers.

The views of the area are really beautiful and expansive, as we move up through elevation out of the tree-line and into the vast flat-lands above, reminding us of images we’ve seen of Scottish Highlands.

Next stop is to listen to a brief talk from a native Athabaskan who lives in this area, Greg, continuing on the traditions of his ancestors, but also sharing a small part of their lives with us tourists for awareness.

He is a true character keeping everyone engaged and seemingly enjoying himself to boot. He tells the brief history of his people, one that now has become all too familiar. Of a culture that didn’t write, but shared their knowledge through stories and the verbal word. This meant that when the white folks came enforcing Christianity on them, banning their original way of life for 80 years, much of their knowledge and history was lost, as a generation of people were unable to pass down their traditions to the next as had been done for so many years before. This man before us, and many others, are doing their best to piece together their culture and document it for future generations, not only to be able to pass down the almost lost knowledge, but to bring awareness to their existence. Surviving in this area without modern amenities is a hard-fought life, but they have done it for centuries, and thanks to the Athabaskan people like our man here today, and the protections they are (sometimes) afforded, will hopefully continue to do so for many centuries more. He tells us how they survive the years by the seasons, foraging certain fruits, nuts and berries, hunting animals, and processing and storing them all for winter. It sounds a full and hard life!

A Trip to the Dogs

We make the most of being in the National Park by heading to the dog kennels after the tour. There’s at least 15 dogs with their kennels, raring to go for a run and display. We get to see them pull a sled around the yard, and get some info on why these gorgeous dogs are important to the parks service.

We learn that only hand tools for construction, and sled dogs for transport amd used to maintain the quiet of the back country – part of the 60 year Wilderness Act. No chainsaws and industrial machinery for construction.

We’re taught about the importance of travelling by sled dog was to the indigenous people here as travelling by sled dog, generations were able to talk and pass on information, such as noticing what is around them and being able to say “this is where this happens, and this plant does this”. This was lost when people used skidoos, you can’t talk to one another on a skidoo.

There is research in the world to not just protect the night skies, but also the natural soundscapes. Sled dogs help us protect the quiet.

The dog at the back directs the sled as it turns out. During winter, the dogs lay track to the different cabins. They also help carry materials to construction areas.

James, mum and I decide to eke out as much of being in the park as possible, by walking back to the visitor centre instead of returning to the bus. As luck would have it, the rain finally clears and we are blessed with even more stunning views.

We finish the day with a lovely dinner all together at King Salmon, celebrating the many reasons we have to cheers over a bottle of bubbley.

9 Hours…10 Hours… 13 Hours Galore

It’s time to head to the ship! Unfortunately, our journey has taken us inland, away from the coast, which means it’s a long way back to shore! We’re scheduled for a nine hour train ride back through the National Park to the dock in Whittier, where our ship awaits. Our ship of endless free food, drink, and no more packing, we can’t wait!

Someone clearly told the engine pulling us along, because it decides to break down, and extend our wait by a further four hours. We really feel for the staff who have been up and about hours before us, and have to get another hour-long bus back to Anchorage after dropping us off, before they finally get to clock off. Some of them are starting again at 4am! The staff do a fantastic job of keeping spirits up, and the kids are so well behaved (having a ratio of 6 adults to 2 kids definitely helped though!). What follows are the photos of this lengthy train ride.

We make it to the final tunnel, and are told that the tunnel is so small that cars and trains have to alternate through, with one being allowed through on the hour, and the other being allowed through on the half hour. They do us a favour and get us through without further delay. The crew hope they can make it back through on the next slot, otherwise they have an even longer wait before getting home! We hope they did!

Our minds however are more on the blustering and rainy gale outside as we try queue our way to the giant ship, that is now, at long last, in front of us. We make it on, dump our stuff, and head straight to the bar. We’ve made it!!!!

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Adventure – journeying through the wilderness by train

Excitement – finally making it onto the ship and learning about the 15 drink ‘target’ (I mean limit). Seeing moose!

Trauma – despite the long ride, it actually wasn’t that traumatic, but was the worst part of the day.

This is a summary of our road trip stints in the Lower 48, covering LA -> San Fran + Blaine -> Seattle, excluding the cruise which has its own post and summary. The lower 48 was a while ago now, but I loved it, at least parts of it. Waking up in the woods in the thick of nature, my soul felt full. It no doubt helped that I slept the best I have in a long time. Down with the sun, up with the sun, pure silence in between (until the ravens woke up of course). Living out of the back of the jeep stripped back our travels to another level in a beautiful way.

I had high expectations for the USA, at first it lacked hugely. In response to my dismay, brother Ben was spot on, “give it time”. The vast, expansive, varied, and naturally beautiful land is hard to not fall in love with. The individualistic culture, the homelessness, the lack of support for the most vulnerable, the terrible food, the fake American dream, is all hard to ignore. It’s helped me understand the country a bit more. A nation of people being setup to fail. Seeing people struggling with physical and mental health, victims to a system prioritising financial gain, inflicting the causes of these struggles onto them, and then washing its hands of the fallout. In the name of money, of ‘freedom’. The ‘freedom’ line seemed mostly to be used to defend being selfish at the expense of others. The freedom for companies to make money at the expense of society. It’s a country built on people who wanted the freedom to live how they wanted, and so it should be no surprise this continues on as the core of its culture, but it still does when you see it up close. More than anything, it showed me how different we are (or were) in the UK from the USA, and how sad it is that we are seemingly diverging from our more similar European neighbours following this broken giant… in pursuit of what? This isn’t a dream I want to fall for anymore, and I hope I can continue to fight its trappings when home.

Thankfully, out in the parks, you can get away from all of that. So, I don’t know where I stand on it, other than I would happily spend longer road-tripping the parks and the gorgeous scenery, living a whole different kind of American dream.

Rule of Three

Highlights (Alex): Being in Yosemite Valley. That thrill of the casino win. The amazing scenery out on the road, so different and breath-taking, all from the ease of our own vehicle, I would go back in a heartbeat.

Highlights (James): The incredible nature of the national parks, all of them were amazing but Bryce Canyon really stood out for me. Getting caught up in the craziness of Vegas. Hiking in Yosemite.

Lowlights (Alex): Stan, the RV Park attendant, who I had to bite my tongue with as he talked to us in a way that we should be grateful he was overcharging us and then being berated for not wanting to pay an extra surprise $10 to be able to use the toilet. The journey out of LA. Trying to get a car rental in Vegas.

Lowlights (James): The bugs and beasties relentlessly hounding us at the campsites. Trying to sleep in a tent when it’s 40 degrees plus. Car hire debacle.

Takeaways (Alex): The people out here are trying really, really hard to be healthier, to be better, to earn more, to be more comfortable, but they live in a system designed to profit, and it’s those same people that pay the price in more ways than one, I’d be angry and frustrated too. Don’t let the principle to be ‘free’ blind you to the needs and freedom of others, there needs to be some empathy and open ears alongside the debates of what we can be ‘free’ to do in a society, our ‘freedom’ should be a compromise with the community, not an individualistic right to do what we want. This country is great, it is beautiful, but the American Dream isn’t real, it was once upon a time, but not anymore, you’ve more chance in Latam of social mobility than in the USA or UK. (Bonus 4th: I think I might want to live in the woods, away from it all)

Takeaways (James): America is a country (system) designed for the middle class and above. If you find yourself below the poverty line you’re going to have a bad time as there is little to no support. Public transport is an obvious example, infrequent and scary at best, non-existent at worst. Basically you NEED a car to exist here. On another note, everyone knows the food is bad here but my god… Everything is either covered in sugar, cheese, salt, sauce or all of the above. Very little of the food is natural, let alone organic. As advertised in a San Fran supermarket “why not cover this gala apple in peanut butter?”. Says it all. Final point, how do you govern a country this large? We spent over four weeks here, saw a handful of states but we’ve barely scratched the surface. Considering how you could begin to address the needs of so many different people with various beliefs, backgrounds and ambitions is mind boggling.

Description (Alex): A country of two halves (in more ways than one) – beautiful and ugly, natural and sterile, selfless and selfish, rich and poor, real and fake…, absolutely massive, challenging

Description (James): Unbelievably huge, incredible geography for miles and miles and miles. Vast areas completely untouched by civilization. The towns and cities are hard to love, fast food joints and Starbucks on every corner and a lot of issues with poverty.

Entertainment

TV: The Simpsons, The Boys (that only James is allowed to watch), The Great British Bake Off Baking Show

Books: The Wastelands (Dark Tower Series)

Podcasts: [the usual], Off-Menu

Where We Stayed

Katie and Pete’s: 5 ⭐️ like home, beautiful, cosy, dogs!, great company

Plaza (Las Vegas): 3.5 ⭐️ meh, good location but otherwise a bit tired and general annoyance with Vegas approach to lack of kettles or fridges

Ramada by Wyndham (Cedar City): 4 ⭐️ surprisingly good breakfast, fine room.

Comfort Inn Hotel & Suites (Page): 4 ⭐️ Good indoor pool and jacuzzi, breakfast lacking compared to Ramada

Gouldings Lodge (Monument Valley): 5 ⭐️ spectacular views.

Ramada by Wyndham (Flagstaff): 3 ⭐️

Luxor (Las Vegas): 4 ⭐️ brilliant hotel, but again with no fridge or kettle.

Lodgepole Campground 1 (SEKI): 4 ⭐️

Lodgepole Campground 2 (SEKI): 4.5 ⭐️ lovely spot, creek for paddling, good facilities and location for hikes

Stony Creek Campground (SEKI): 3 ⭐️ so many flies, big flies, little flies, then mosquitoes. Plus vault toilets. Lovely hosts though.

Codorniz Campground (Eastman Lake): 3 ⭐️ unbearably hot, raccoons instead of bears, free showers, flat pitch-ground with brilliant view over the lake and decent privacy

Upper Pines Campground (Yosemite Valley): 4.5 ⭐️ staying in the valley can’t be beaten. Showers would have been nice.

Hodgdon Campground (Yosemite National Park): 3.5 ⭐️ bit far, tiny pitch at an angle, no flies though!

Crane Flat Campground (Yosemite National Park): 4.5 ⭐️ big pitch, well laid out, more flies

Fallen Leaf Campground (South Lake Tahoe): 5 ⭐️ huge pitch, good facilities including showers, nothing to complain about!

RV Park (San Jose): 1 ⭐️ safer than Walmart I suppose

San Remo Hotel (San Francisco): 4.5 ⭐️ weird but cute hotel retaining its original style

The Bunker Airbnb (Blaine): 5 ⭐️ massive and beautifully put together, could have spent a lot more time here enjoying the place

Auld Holland Inn (Oak Harbor): 4 ⭐️ fun and odd designs, overly strong cleaning smell, bathroom vent sounding like a jet engine, standard brekkie

Waterfront at Potlatch: 5 ⭐️ beautiful views, beautiful room, fun times with everyone, another solid find by Ben

SeaTac Inn (Seattle): 1 ⭐️ rude staff, poor management, smelt bad, overpriced for a crap motel

Cutting Room Floor

• Thunder on a blazing sunny hike
• James getting so excited by the mpg
• Weird idealised perception of the past, the good ol’ days of the wild west. Really…?
• “Happy to be here” parking attendant at Horseshoe Bend
• Being too short to take a good photo for the tall family who took a good photo for us
• Speeding Bears (or rather, Speeding Kills Bears, when you can see the whole sign)
• “Happy trails”
• The swifts living up to their name on clouds rest
• “come on SAKA!!!” from the old geezer standing next to us watching the finals of the Euros
• On our walk to the viewpoint with BenJen, BenEmma et al, leaving a human behind at each crossroads like breadcrumbs after we realised only one of us knew the route

Photos

A Roof with a View

I absolutely loved waking up in nature everyday. Unzipping that noisy vent to see the trees all around, beautiful.

Our Beauty

San Fran

Seattle – Museum of Popular Culture

Seattle – Space Needle

Seattle – Chihuly Gardens of Glass

Excuse my indulgence for one of my favourite artists

Gay dads 🌈 😎

Saying farewell to Diana and Gordon (for now) at the Pinnacle Hotel, Ben, Alex and I head across town in a newly acquired Jeep. It’s a newer model than the one we had for camping with a giant screen in the front, though it does not have an extendable tent on the roof 🤷🏻‍♂️

We make our way over to meet Ben (another one) and Jen, a couple that Ben and Emma met on a skiing holiday many moons ago. We pick them up, along with the kids and we’re on the road heading back towards the USA. Alex and Emma travel with Ben and Jen while it’s the rest of the boys in the big Jeep.

There isn’t much to report along the way, Ben and I have a good catch-up while the boys mostly behave themselves in the backseats. Emma helpfully messages from the car ahead that Ben and I look like a couple of gay dads with our matching sunglasses, cruising along in our Wrangler. I think she’s just jealous of us riding in the cool vehicle!

Having ignored the sign in the car rental shop that read “Don’t cross into the USA” we’re slightly nervous about crossing the border. Anxiety levels increase as we’re told to pull over for further processing. Luckily it’s nothing to do with the car and more to do with the complications of where we’re from and where we have travelled in the last few weeks. With a surprisingly joyful border guard helping us through the process, we relax and are soon across the border back into the US of A.

Our Airbnb for the night is literally just across the border. Emma has a quick joyride in the Jeep, and I have a quick game of table tennis with Matti before being summoned to the kitchen. After a few hours in the car and only a small lunch, a few hangry bears have appeared, so Alex, Jen and I head out to the nearest supermarket.

We return with handfuls of pizzas, snacks and beers while excitedly being told we HAVE to see the ‘bunker’! It’s hard to describe the utter madness that exists underneath this lovely and normal looking house. That is until you descend down into the depths. It’s a labyrinth of corridors, doors – some of which are locked and have strict instructions not to open them; some of them are giant metal blocks like the vaults in a bank, huge areas for passing the time while the bombs drop, and some rather questionable rooms that look like something straight out of The Silence of the Lambs. Strange to think what would convince someone to build a shelter like this. According to a video shared by the owners, they built it all single handedly in fear of a devastating war that never came. It’s super creepy but the boys love it and get lost in the corridors and tunnels like a giant game of hide and seek.

New Frontiers

In the morning, after a few more games of ping pong and a big breakfast, it’s back on the road again. Ben has discovered that the roof can be detached from the Jeep and to the boys delight they can travel with the roof off today. We continue our journey south and stop for lunch at an old frontier town called La Conner.

After lunch we have a bit of a wander around the small town. Ben and Jen buy a washing powder that apparently lasts for a whole year… They somehow find a way to make this two hour trip each year to top up on this magical washing powder, it must be good! A few of the group get ice creams, including huckleberry flavour, and it’s a race against time to eat them before they turn to liquid on this warm afternoon. Alex opted out of buying an ice cream but is delighted to polish off all of the unfinished treats from the others. Buzzing with sugar, we explore an art gallery and then a giant antiques shop selling all sorts, from a Zoltar fortune teller machine to vintage Playboy magazines!

We hop back in the cars and drive across to Fidalgo island. Here we take a short hike to a stunning viewpoint where we can see many islands, some of which are in the US and others belong to Canada. Slightly confusing geographically but it makes for a great view. I teach the boys how to make a cairn from loose rocks with relative success.

Our accomodation this evening is the appropriately named Auld Holland Hotel, featuring a large windmill on the roof and various other Dutch paraphernalia. The rest of the group go for dinner in the nearby Mexican restaurant, but Alex is feeling a little poorly so we stay in the room watching a marathon omnibus of The Office, and eating the leftover pizza from the night before.

Ferry and fog

Our journey today involves crossing the Puget Sound (a fancy name for a bit of water left behind by a glacier) over to the mainland. The geography is pretty wild around here, worth a look on Google Maps, search for Port Townsend to see what I mean. We have not reserved a space on the ferry and with a warning that it could take up to six hours to find a space on one we nervously set off. There isn’t any room on the first ferry we see but luckily they think they can get us onto the next one. We have some time to kill so we explore the nearby beach and hunt for crabs under the rocks, play the shuttlecock game from Vietnam and even bring out Wilson the beach ball for some keepy uppy. Matti throws himself around all over the sandy beach desperate to keep the ball in the air, you have to admire the dedication. It’s soon time to board the ferry and we spend most of the short journey surrounded by fog, eerie!

Port Townsend is another town full of character. Originally built with the intention of being the main port in the North West it had to reinvent itself and is now a bustling tourist attraction. I’m sure the ferry route has massively helped keep this place going. We find a nice spot for lunch overlooking the waterfront while helicopters, boats and planes dart around.

After a good look around the place we divide and conquer. Alex and I will go with BenJen to the supermarket to stock up for a night of spag bol, homemade garlic bread and wine. While BenEmma will entertain the kids and meet us at the hotel. Ben W has found another amazing hotel, this time by the waterfront at Potlatch. We settle in to the spacious rooms and get ready to relax. Only then do we notice the advertised ‘kitchenette’ is infact just a microwave and a coffee machine. It might be difficult to cook a spag bol for 8 people with just a microwave and no crockery. There’s a brief panic before we remember how resourceful we can be in times of desperation. We hunt around the property for anything else we can use, and finding a communal room with an electric hob and one giant pot we know we’ll be able to cook something up! Through a lot of scavenging, innovation, borrowing and begging we somehow end up able to throw together a pretty decent spag bol. Eaten on borrowed plates and with disposable cutlery I’m reminded WAS a good idea to carry around for weeks on end!

Some of the group are brave enough to go for a swim in the chilly water, Alex and I have had quite enough of that and instead watch from the shore. There’s a beautiful sunset and we can spot otters (or seals we’re not sure) pottering about in the water. Afterwards we have a few games of cards and polish off whatever booze we had left.

Sleepless in Seattle

Our destination this morning is the big city of Seattle. We arrive to the deafening sound of fighter jets flying over our heads, the already loud sound of sonic boom amplified by the many tall buildings around us. We say our goodbyes to Ben and Jen who are not only kind enough to drive the Jeep all the way back up to Vancouver, but offer to host us for the final night of our trip in a couple of weeks time.

Alex and I head over to check-in at our dodgy motel in close proximity to the airport. The man behind the counter immediately treats us with suspicion and says our booking was canceled. Great. In fact our initial booking attempt was automatically cancelled and we rebooked instantly. But they’ve perceived it that we’ve cancelled three times… Long story short after a bit of faffing around they say they’ll “sort something out” and we nervously leave our bags behind the counter. While all of this is going on there’s an argument between the receptionist and a guest about the room smelling of smoke, she (missing the point entirely) says it isn’t smoke but just “a lot of weed”. We can’t wait to come back later on for what is bound to be a wonderful night’s sleep 🤔

Leaving that chaos behind us, we rejoin BenEmma and their boys and head into the heart of Seattle and what’s it’s most famous for… The Needle. Though as we noticed upon driving into the City, the once super tall Needle is now dwarfed by the myriad of skyscrapers built in recent years. Once again there are some hangry bears amongst us so Ben and I try our first McDonald’s in America. I must say it’s quite disappointing, over £10 for a very average burger and fries with a drink. Like a lot of things recently, the price has shot up while the quantity and/or standards remain the same. I do however get to try root beer for the first time and quite like it, despite the similarity to the taste of toothpaste. At this point, Alex, Ben and I head to the Museum of Popular Culture and spend a couple of hours perusing the exhibitions of music, Seattle culture, sci-fi and fantasy.

After the museum we regroup with BenEmma and the boys. Alex and Emma are keen to take the elevator up the Needle and check out the view from the top. Having seen a similar view in Tokyo for free, I pass on paying nearly $50 to repeat the experience. Ben and I take the boys to a nearby playground and are quite entertained watching them climb and scramble up the nets and ladders which look far too big for them!

Once the girls are done checking out the views from the Needle, Ben and his family head to their dodgy motel while Alex has one more tourist attraction to cover. The glassworks by the artist Chihluy, over to some pictures to explain why…

Finally after a long day of touristing we take the monorail back across town to our motel. They have found a room for us and after a quick bite to eat at Denny’s diner we see what kind of room awaits us. It’s not as bad as feared, with a 2.3/5 rating on Google we feared the worst. It is very basic and not overly clean considering the $95 per night fee but it’s fine, and the proximity to the airport is the main reason we booked it. We have to get up at 5am and I don’t think either of us sleep particularly well… But now it’s finally time for the luxury part of our trip with Princess cruises land and sea tour!

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Adventure – Creating a spag bol with a few challenges. Road trip with friends and family.

Excitement – Getting to visit Seattle, cool place. Playing on the beach while waiting for the ferry. Fighter jets roaring above us in Seattle.

Trauma – Motel from hell. Alex feeling a bit worse for wear.

Running

Our first activity in San Francisco is… parkrun! Yaaaaay. Only one of us is cheering. It’s actually not really in San Francisco, but it’s near enough the jeep rental to make it work. I’m not sure if the experience of Stan scamming us is entirely worth it, but it sure makes me happy to tick another country off the parkrun list. Unlike in Japan it’s less obvious who the tourists are here, also because it seems there are many a local expat. Apparently, the parkrun was further in the centre of San Fran, but during COVID they moved it out to Palo Alto (where many tech companies are). I wonder if the people that started it left the city and took parkrun with them. As always, we feel very grateful to the volunteers who make this achievement possible.

It’s a pretty flat and unassuming course through a wetland. Everyone is very friendly and there are even snacks for afters. This is the only parkrun in all of California, so there’s many a dedicated (bonkers) foreigner here too.

We have our final breakfast out of the back of the jeep, chat to some fellow parkrunners, drive over to the garage, and hand back our home for the last eleven nights. Back to lugging our gear on our backs and fronts and lengthy journeys on public transport.

Prisoning

We’re eventually welcomed to San Francisco proper by a rough looking man yelling at the sky, and a gent sitting eating a banana outside a cafe who greets us with “my son’s called Kingsley”. Okay… It’s a stark contrast to the blissful peace and safety of the National Parks, and it takes us aback once more. Thankfully we are able to check-in to our hotel in San Francisco early, and so head off for some clam chowder lunch.

Our next stop today is by way of ferry to Alcatraz. We’ve opted for an evening trip for extra night-time spookiness (or so the reviews suggest). Crossing a picket line demanding a living wage, we join the international masses onto the ferry that will take us to The Rock!

Also check out this blanket of cloud that heavily hangs above, making us actually cold for the first time in a long time! The layer of cloud is like a blanket sitting above us and the city, it’s pretty impressive, and reminds me a bit of Lima. Although this is very much more a blanket of cloud compared to the moving mist of Lima the grey. We also learn of Karl the Fog (Google it, weird).

By way of audio-tour we learn about the prison and some of its inmates. Expecting this to house the worst of the worst with some pretty horrendous stories, we actually learn that most prisoners here were pretty cordial. I guess when you’re at the top of your game criminal wise there’s less of an obvious pecking order. There were also just your average criminals here too, and a good few with pretty horrendous mental health problems, terribly sad backgrounds, and even a conscientious objector! Alongside the inmates you had the guards who lived on island with their families. What a place to grow up. There was one successful escape method (although people suspect they drowned in the freezing sea), one attempted takeover that sadly ended lives rather than sentences, and one invasion by indigenous communities after it closed to try and get their native land back. The prison was closed in 1964 after 30 years.

On our way out, we learn about the infamous Al Capone, one of Alcatraz’s most famous inmates. What we learn is that crime certainly didn’t pay in his story. Capone was only in this thirties when he died of syphilis, after the disease had ravaged his mind to the point of deteriorating his mental capacity to that of a teenager. Not so tough as the legendary reputation.

Cheering and Touristing

Our first full day in San Fran is spent having a bit of a wander and explore, ticking off some suggested boxes by ex-San Fran resident Jen (thanks Jen!).

We start off with a heavenly brunch that is a welcome break from our porridge staple the last 300 days, treating ourselves to some variants of the classic mimosa but with grapefruit and cranberry.

Next up, there’s a match to watch. England have made it to the final of the World Cup, and we join many a foreign fan (for both teams) in a packed out Irish pub cheering, jeering, and commiserating.

After the (somewhat expected) disappointment, it’s time to get touristing. Much to my delight, one to-do is to have some chocolate or ice-cream from Ghirardelli, a San Franciscan staple that goes back to 1852. We gorge so much sugar even I start to feel a bit unwell.

We then checkout Lombard Street, known for its flowering switch-backs, that celebrates the rolling hills of the city. After which, we have a chill night in watching The Rock, a film set on Alcatraz.

Biking

Our second full day in San Fran is spent exploring by bike this time, allowing us to go a bit further afield, including cycling over the Golden Gate Bridge. This is one part fantastic, another part infuriating, as at points you share the narrow pathway with dawdlers and teenagers insistent on walking arm in arm, and speed cyclists seemingly trying to get a PB across the bridge, often at the same time. I’m not sure which were worse.

Surviving the dodge-course that is the bridge, we continue to follow the coast around and down to the Golden Gate Park, and through to the beach, featuring windmills!

The beaches here are as vast as the ones in LA, and if it weren’t for the markedly different weather that is reminiscent of Cornwall, it would have been the perfect bathing spot. It’s pretty remarkable having this cosmopolitan city right next to this vast beach.

No time for that anyway, we set off back towards the east side and towards the growing rolling hills. Despite my protestations, James insists that Google knows we’re on bikes and wouldn’t send us on a route we couldn’t cycle…

You can see how that went. Nevertheless, the cycle through these northern boroughs is glorious. The architecture reminds me of London, with each house being unique in design, colour and/or style. Terraces meet mansions meet apartments. Streets are closed off for “quiet zones” akin to our LTNs that make them tranquil and safe to cycle down. I could easily get lost just wandering the many beautifully distinct areas of just this one part of the city, admiring the designs all around. Loved it.

After an exhausting finish to the bike drop off, we get changed for a special evening out at a recommended Italian seafood restaurant nearby.

We sit at the bar watching the perfectly oiled machine of the kitchen prep their refined menu with ease and precision. It’s fascinating, and huge respect to all kitchen staff who toil away in the heat and cramped quarters of all restaurants. We thoroughly enjoy our salmon with greens, and clam pasta, with a lovely fresh white wine for good measure.

Killing Time

Our flight out of the US isn’t until the afternoon, so we have one more day to kill. We decide to try out some crab (although not the Dungeness kind, if anyone can tell me why Kent crabs are in San Fran I’d be grateful!), and another clam chowder. Note for anyone going to eat at the Fisherman’s Wharf, the prices are to eat outside, go inside and you have a different menu, sneaky!

We meander along the seafront to see the resident and protected sea-lions basking in the sun.

And continue down to the Ferry Terminal and get a bit of an experience of down-town San Fran.

One thing missing from this post so far is the ever-present Waymo self-driving car that has just been released onto the streets of this part of San Fran only two weeks prior. There are 800 of them cruising the streets, and you honestly can’t go a block without seeing one:

They largely drive pretty well, but certainly get as confused and flustered as humans do in the pedestrian packed walkways of Fisherman’s Wharf, where its need to be overly cautious causes it to hop and stagnate as meandering tourists wander all around it confusing it’s sensors. A human would no doubt just start edging into the pedestrians, Waymo of course cannot. Otherwise it handles the four way crossings with more ease than we do, and provides ample entertainment to see them driving around with no-one in the front seats. We’ll have to give them a try next time, as for now, it’s off to Canada-eh.

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Adventure – exploring by foot and bike. Going back in time in our hotel that maintains its Victorian-esque features and style.

Excitement – seeing Waymo at almost every corner. Watching the kitchen at work. Cycling over the most famous bridge in the world (sorry Tower Bridge). Calorific treats.

Trauma – more experience of the mentally unwell, Golden Gate gawmless.

Our time in the wonderful Yosemite is coming to an end, we leave the Crane Flat campsite and set off along the highway. We pass by Cloud’s Rest and admire our hiking effort from yesterday and the cold lake we swam in too. A tinge of sadness hits as we proceed through the park exit, leaving behind this incredible national park.

Having done quite a bit of driving in the park we’re getting quite low on fuel. As expected the fuel prices in the park are pretty expensive and the same is true just outside it too, as they know people will be desperate to refuel. At an extortionate $7.60 a gallon we see how far we can last on fumes and attempt to make it another 70km for fuel at half the price. Thanks to Alex’s efficient driving we make it with fumes to spare. From here we continue on to Lake Tahoe, highly recommended by Californians as a very nice place to relax by a magnificent, mile deep lake. It’s strange to be back in civilization again surrounded by busy multi-lane roads, fast food chains everywhere and concrete towers blocking out the sunshine.

We make a much needed stop at a laundromat, scoff a big bag of fries and continue on to check-in at our final campsite, Fallen Leaf.

We setup camp, transfer any scented items we have to the bear box and have a wander around the grounds. We check out the nearby Fallen Leaf Lake and have a brief look at the giant Lake Tahoe, promising ourselves we’ll return later for dinner overlooking the lake while the sun sets.

We freshen up (in a coin-operated campsite shower full of flying beasties as we wash against the clock), don our ‘formal’ gear and head back towards the lake. Sadly the only lakeside restaurant within walking distance has decided to stop serving food an hour earlier than expected, so we have to settle for drinks only. The $14 cocktails served in a plastic cup are pretty much thrown at us and we suspect they’ve had a very busy day. We enjoy the strong drinks watching the sunset over the lake.

Returning to camp, which is now in complete darkness as there are no lights, we have no choice but to settle for instant noodles cooked on our portable hob. While cooking we can hear other campers shouting at a bear to leave them alone! We cook with one eye looking out for any uninvited dinner guests. Scared the smell of delicious instant noodles will attract the furry beasts we seek refuge in the front seats of our Jeep. Not quite the evening meal we had in mind!

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Strokes and S(a)tan

The next morning we take a dip in the cool waters of the Fallen Leaf lake.

Afterwards we check out of camp and head for a game of minigolf at a fantastic local attraction.

After minigolf (which I won) we fill up on grub at a BBQ joint.

Now we have one night left before we need to drop the car off outside of San Francisco, we have to drop it back before 10am so we want to stay nearby so we don’t need to do a long drive first thing in the morning. So, up to this point we have no reservation of where to stay tonight. Motels are around $80 at the cheapest and as we can still sleep in our roof tent we want to try and find an RV park to spend one last night on top of a Jeep. For some reason, RV park websites have not been updated since they were made in the 1990s and all of them insist you call them to book, it is not possible to book them online. Unable to call them, we figure we’ll just rock up and see what rate they can offer us for one night.

We drive all the way to Palo Alto, a stone’s throw away from the car drop (and also a Park Run). We find an RV Park and the owner isn’t around. A friendly restaurant worker says he’ll give him a call and as we wait a resident in the RV park tells us the owner, called Stan will probably give us a good rate for a one night stay. After a short wait, Stan turns up. He must be in his eighties and does not seem to be in a great mood. We ask if he has any spaces for one night and he enquires what facilities we’ll need “just access to a toilet and some water if there is any”. He grunts. “$65”. To park on a 6ft piece of tarmac for barely 12 hours. We ask if he can do it any cheaper. He grunts again. “How much did you pay at the campsites?” He asks. Between $20-40 we answer truthfully. He clearly doesn’t believe us and gives us a take it or leave it offer of $50. Lacking options we have no choice but to give in. Of course after we pay the agreed money we are then told it’s an extra $10 deposit for the toilet access key. We’re then told his assistant won’t be here until 10am tomorrow to pay back said deposit, throwing our Park Run plans into ruin. After a lot of pleading and compromise we agree to waive the key deposit and he’ll leave us a key to the men’s toilet only (God knows why). I get that he’ll likely need to deal with some pretty difficult people, but he really makes us feel like we’re hard work and he’s doing us a massive favour here. “You can always park on the street, but someone might climb into your tent” he offers as a crude dig. To add insult to injury he then says “oh you’ve been traveling for a year huh? Another $10 is nothing to you then” and scoffs. He never believed we’d return the toilet key through his office letterbox. Writing this up now I think I should have dropped it down the sewer drain on the way out after his stinking attitude. But we’re better people than that.

Running off the rage

After a pretty difficult night of sleep we depart the parking space and head on to Byxbee Parkrun… Over to Alex for coverage on that and beyond.

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Adventure – Swimming in Fallen Leaf Lake.

Excitement – An excellent round of minigolf.

Trauma – Stan. Having to bite my tongue and be nice to someone clearly taking us for a ride (Alex).

Visiting Yosemite National Park was always a definite on the travel list. Many more national parks were also on the list, but various people from the US told us that some could come off it, but Yosemite had to stay. It was also important we stay in the park to make the most of it, apparently. With this in mind, it was with a good amount of dismay that when I started looking into it back in the Philippines (!), I found out that not only had the National Parks Service decided to continue a permit system from 2023 that limited access during when we would be there, but that accommodation within the park sells out instantly. It seemed the Yosemite plan would be more difficult to come to fruition than trying to get tickets to Glastonbury. So, five months prior, amidst studying for our PADI in SE Asia, I was logging on to get us permits for a date we hoped we might be there. The permit allowed us to enter the park, but not sleep in it. A bridge we’d have to come to later down the line.

Fast forward to trying to figure out the whole USA road trip, whilst in the USA (thanks WWOOFing), and all accommodation in and outside Yosemite was fully booked or ridiculously expensive (the same could be said for Sequoia and King’s Canyon actually!). It seemed that first come first served camping is a thing of the past in these parts. So much for the freedom of living wild and free in our jeep on the roads, pulling up where we found ourselves. Our only hope was a second release of campspots a couple of weeks prior to when we thought we might be there, to try and secure some spots, in a hope it would fit in with a future route we hadn’t yet decided. Fun.

Eventually, through a lot of effort, and regularly checking the website for last minute cancellations, when I probably should have been enjoying the moment, we had some pitches booked. They meant moving campground and/or pitch almost everyday, but needs must. Thankfully, the pitches in the National Parks are actually pretty reasonably priced, far cheaper than anywhere outside the park.

Getting the following to all come together took a lot of effort and planning to make happen. Something that’s not so bad when you’re planning your holiday, sitting at your desk pretending to work, but a big headache when you’re still trying to plan tomorrow. But, it was totally worth it, and I’d do it all again tomorrow if we could. Just, if you want to go to Yosemite, plan waaaay in advance! Because everyone else will be.

So, to the stint itself…

Flea and Cricket

Unable to sleep in the heat bowl that is the Codorniz Campground, we give up tossing and turning and decide to head off at the crack of dawn. It makes for an impressive sight though, seeing the ball of heat rise over the gold all around us.

The road out was once more, other-worldy, but in a totally different way. A few cows stare at us, chewing the cud, as we turn up a farm-track. Little did we understand that this was going to be another Google classic and the cows were rightly bemused to see anyone other than their owner go up this road. It’s a slow slog along the bumpy dirt track.

Much of the journey out of this part is ferrying a bunch of unsuspecting crickets who jump out of the way of our jeep and end up clinging on for dear life up the road. Some manage to hang on for so long it would be like moving to a different continent, we wonder if they have homes to somehow get back to! Eventually, the rolling fields of flowing golden grasses abate and civilisation returns. I won’t miss the heat but those views were something else.

Yosemite

Soon enough, the temperature starts dropping, and the road starts being lined with evergreens once more. Phew!

First up in actual Yosemite was Glacier Point, somewhere we drove to ‘on the way’ to the valley. Our jaws literally dropped as we came through the pine forest and the sky opened up to show Half Dome up ahead. It was epic.

Time to head into the valley itself. We only managed to get one night camping in the valley, so I was determined we make the most of it. It doesn’t disappoint! The views here are breath-taking, with the green of the Meadows in the valley floor, against the grey granite walls surrounding us, and the perfectly blue sky, I can’t believe we’re here.

James has spotted many a bather at the river that runs through the valley, and suggests we cool off and clean off the sweat from Codorniz. As always, it’s a great idea. The water sure is cold, but there’s also ample entertainment from other visitors playing around in the freezing water around us.

Another one of James’s brilliant ideas is to treat ourselves to a special campfire dinner to celebrate being in Yosemite at last. We celebrate with bubbles (out of our Patagonia Brewery cups of course), sausages and mushrooms! Makes a change from our usual fare.

Despite a few clamourings of pots and pans and people calmly yelling “not here bears”, we see none and seem safe and sound in the middle of the campground. One benefit to sleeping on top of your car in bear country!

A Climb and Three Falls

We’re up early the next morning (thank you raven alarms) to pack up, park up, and head up to see some waterfalls. The main Mist Trail is shut at the moment, so we’re ‘forced’ to do the more challenging route going up and around to Nevada Falls, following the John Muir Trail (which gives us bragging rights according to the volunteer directing woeful Mist Trail wanabees). We find this a challenging, but not as bad as we thought, jaunt up some steep switchbacks. Thankfully we’re in the shade for all of it, and even get a bit rained on by some snow-melt water dripping overhead.

We’re surprised we make it to the top in such good time, and I’m once more taken aback by how picture-postcard beautiful this place is.

There’s even an overlook where you can see the water rolling down the rock face below, with all its might.

We already seem on top of the world here that we can’t fathom where this endless supply of rushing water is coming from. We skiddadle on down the other side of the Falls and enjoy the views as we descend below them, and on to Vernal Falls, where we can catch the top end of the Mist Trail, and have a water refill and paddle.

After a brief slog back up to Clark’s Point in the blazing sun now, we return back down, desperate for water. Thankfully, Yosemite is good at putting toilets and water refill points where it can, so we’re able to replenish on the return leg. We see many a hot and gasping intrepid hiker trying to start in the now midday heat and wonder how well they’ll fair now there’s little shade. As one of the campground hosts told us, “you can never start too early”. We’re so lucky we got to camp here and do just that.

On our return we ask another volunteer for some tips of hikes to do in the valley. “I don’t want to be a hike snob, but your best hikes are out of the valley“. He recommends Cloud’s Rest, which we’ve actually read about on another blog. We’re proud that he identifies us as fit, able and prepared hikers, but I’m also dubious he hasn’t maybe over estimated our abilities!

On our way back to the car, I hear a crack and crunch from the foliage to our left. “Probably just a big bird”, I dismiss, but James’s curiosity is piqued and he goes back to check. Lo and behold, there’s a bear with her cubs chomping their way through just next to us. Of course by the time I can get the camera out to try and get evidence, they’ve already moved on.

We’ve sadly got to leave the valley as our next campground is out towards the entrance, but first we make a stop at The Dawn Wall of El Capitan, made famous by a couple of climbing documentaries.

We cannot fathom how anyone could climb up this huge sheer wall of stone in one day without any ropes.

Day one done!

Valley Bimbles

We head back into the valley the next day as I still don’t think I’ve had enough of it. Today we’re taking it easy though to keep our strength for the next day, so we explore the villages and check out the view of Yosemite Falls from below.

We bimble about and get lost a bit around the valley, then head back to our now favourite river paddling spot to cool down and clean off.

James even braves the rapids down (after a couple of beers), which we’d seen people going down the days before with an “oooh” and “ouch” as their bums hit the rocks underneath.

We’ve decided to treat ourselves to an evening meal in the valley today, and not worry about fires, or gas, or washing up. It’s a lovely treat!

Clouding Around

Our final day in Yosemite is doing a hike out of the valley. The one we’d read about and was then recommended by the volunteer. We head off ready for another scorching day, not prepared for the onslaught of flies and mosquitos that follow us the whole way along the trial. It’s a beautiful walk, if only we could enjoy it, but every stop for a photo or snack or drink means the bugs catch us up. It means we make it up in record time though!

We somewhat dread the return back into bugville, but it seems the sun has burnt them all away, so we can see the route in an entirely new light, able to take it in a bit more. It is, however, pretty darn hot again now, we only pause for so long before running to the next spot of shady relief.

No longer in the valley and able to access our favourite cool-down spot, we try out a nearby lake that has attracted many a vacationer. It’s a perfect spot to wash away the grime and sweat of the day.

And that’s our lot for Yosemite National Park. A valley formed by a glacier long, long ago, that became the inspiration for the National Parks system, we can see why.

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Adventure – exploring Yosemite’s valleys and surrounding areas

Excitement – some rock exfoliating from the cliff by our campsite as soon as we arrived. Spotting our first bears. Being in Yosemite at long last

Trauma – the incredibly loud dude in Upper Pines who seemed to be shouting to his friend standing right next to him. Thankfully they went to bed early and got up late. Bear boxes, the never-ending back and foreward of bear boxes.

Late Arrivals

We leave Las Vegas in our new machine, a large but comfortable Jeep Wrangler. There are none of the fancy features or gizmos of the modern BMW but we are well equipped with camping, cooking and sleeping supplies (or so we think). There is a roof nest fixed to the top of the roof-racks where we shall sleep for the next eleven nights.

It’s a seven hour, 645km journey from Vegas to our campground in the Sequoia national park. We share the driving and I take the reins for the first half. It’s a challenging drive having to choose between a 55mph slow lane full of articulated lorries or a 90mph fast lane with pickups aggressively driving up behind you even when you’re 25mph over the speed limit. After some time I notice the miles per gallon on our new vehicle is a devastating 18mpg and wonder how much gas this beast is going to guzzle over the next twelve days. Luckily after we escape Nevada (and the 115°F/46°C Death Valley area) things calm down a bit and I hand the driving over to Alex.

We stop for some dinner at Denny’s and even though we left Indie Campers two hours earlier than anticipated, we are driving up hairpin bends, at 20mph, under the pitch black nightsky. Eventually we arrive at the campsite just before midnight, long after all of the other campers have gone to sleep. We have to figure out how a bear box (a large metal cube designed to protect food/toiletries from bears) works in the dark and very tired. We also raise our roof nest for the first time, luckily it rises up in a few seconds and we do not have to faff around with tent poles in the dark.

The Bigger They Are…

After a much needed lie-in, it’s time to go and see some huge trees called sequoias. These magnificent pillars of nature may not be as tall as their redwood cousins but they are wider. In fact they are the widest trees in the world.

Sequoia national park is the only place on earth where these trees grow naturally. Why is that? Well they require very specific conditions to grow, a certain altitude, a low but not dry water table and most strangely of all, fire. Yes these lumbering giants rely on natural wildfires to clear the ground of rival trees so their acorns can sprout and then they can thrive. Their bark is fire resistant so once they are established they have a natural shield to protect against the frequent wildfires in the area. On occasion the most sacred trees will have their bases wrapped in aluminum foil to add further protection from extreme fires.

We start with a walk around the pathway of giants and guess how many Alex’s (with her arms stretched wide) it would take to fit around these massive trees. We actually measure it out at one point and it takes fourteen Alex’s to hug one average sized sequoia!

The next stop on the tour is Moro Rock with brilliant views across the park. In the distance we can even spot some snow that is still resisting the heat of the summer sun.

We follow the path back down Moro Rock and board the shuttle bus to the pleasantly named Crescent Meadow. Here we pose with some more giant trees, spot a marmot posing on a fallen log and enjoy the peace and quiet of being immersed in nature. The trees obviously look massive from any angle but once they fall it’s astounding how indescribably huge they are.

Returning back towards the shuttle bus we make a visit to General Sherman, one of the biggest sequoia trees in the world. There are taller and wider trees, but the General Sherman Tree contains more volume in its trunk than any other tree on Earth. It is estimated to be around 2200 years old! A handy sign informs us how many people (or Alex’s) it would take to fit holding hands around this tree… 23!

Amusingly it was originally named the Karl Marx tree by a local socialist community living in the area. After they were *ahem* removed, the tree was renamed Sherman after the American Generals who fought in the Civil War. How predictable.

Back at Camp Lodgepole we take advantage of the natural facilities and bathe in the freezing cold stream flowing through the campsite. We rinse some clothes and our dusty limbs, immersing ourselves in this off-grid lifestyle. At our camp spot, we gather firewood and cook our first meal on a campside fire pit. We rush our beers and race across camp to make it to the ranger talk at 8.30pm. He talks about the wildlife in the park and the number of resident bears in the SEKI area… 800 black bears!

Happy Fourth!

The next morning we set off on yet another hike to some nearby falls. There’s not much to report on the hike except looking out for bear activity (we see none) and being wished a “Happy Fourth” by Americans. They clearly didn’t notice my Ha Giang Loop t-shirt from Vietnam 😂

Afterwards it’s time for a short drive along the Generals Highway towards our next camp site, Stony Creek. It’s a nice location but we are immediately set upon by dozens of flies buzzing around us as we try to enjoy some lunch…

After exploring the campsite, cooling our feet in the nearby creek and collecting far too much firewood, we celebrate the fourth of July! Indulging in some strong beers and a bottle of Apothic Red I bought from the store. With the promise of a day off tomorrow, I indulge a bit too much and struggle to remember how the night ended or how I managed to make it up the ladder to bed in such a forlorn state. Don’t drink kids.

Kings Canyon (hungover)

Waking up in a somewhat groggy state I’m… instructed that we will not be having a day off at camp but instead there is a hike that Alex has picked out over in Kings Canyon. In fairness, it would have been quite an unpleasant stay in camp with all of the annoying bugs and the rising heat, but I’m certainly in no fit state to drive so Alex takes the wheel and I feel very sorry for myself.

What better cure is there for a hangover than a four hour hike in the midday sun? Well, if there is one, it’s not available here, on a hiking we must go.

On the return to camp we make a stop at General Grant, another General standing out in this army of sequoia trees. Some facts stolen from Wikipedia as I was too hungover to write any notes: President Calvin Coolidge proclaimed it the “Nation’s Christmas Tree” on April 28, 1926. Due in large part to its huge base, the General Grant tree was thought to be the largest tree in the world prior to 1931, when the first precise measurements indicated that the General Sherman was slightly larger. On March 29, 1956, President Dwight D. Eisenhower declared the tree a “National Shrine”, a memorial to those who died in war. It is the only living object to be so declared. Back when these giants were first found, some of them were chopped down to prove to the world they existed, but people thought it was a hoax with parts of trees put together to make the giants. Essentially the trees were killed to prove they lived… and even then they didn’t believe them.

Back at Camp Flyville we cool off in the creek running parallel to the campsite and make an evening meal praying that the flies, gnats and mosquitos might leave us in peace (they don’t).

California Cruisin

Our journey must continue on, we will travel Northbound to Yosemite. We depart the relative cool air of the mountains to the hazy heat of the Californian desert. We make a stop in Fresno to use a laundromat and make an important stop at Chili’s to refuel and recharge our electronic devices. It’s a brief return to civilization as we then venture back into the wilderness. We drive through bone-dry lands where the grass has turned to a soft yellow colour, completely deprived of water. We setup camp in Codorniz where the evening temperature is still in the 40 degrees which according to the Park Ranger here is “too damn hot, even the rattlesnakes don’t come out in this heat”. We get some reprieve from the dreaded bearboxes, instead warned of raccoons. We’ll take that. After evening meal we call our friends Alex and Clive and arrange to meet them in Canada in a couple of weeks time. But before that we must visit Yosemite National Park, over to Alex for that one…

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Adventure – Wandering in the shadows of giants. Sleeping on top of a car. Epic long drives in the sunshine and some night-time slaloms. Trying to wash my hair in a camp chair using a 5L bottle of freezing water

Excitement – Seeing some spectacular waterfalls and being sprayed with mist to cool us off. Watching out for bears 🐻 Cooking meals by campfire.

Trauma – Sleepless night in Codorniz thanks to the heat and a loud family nearby. The army of bugs in Camp Stony Creek. The hassle of bear boxes.

We can’t stop here, this is bat country!

Today is a sad day. We must return our beloved BMW that has smoothly carried us over hundreds of miles across Nevada, Utah and Arizona. Through baking hot deserts, parking nightmares, beautiful landscapes and horrendous storms, we’re sad to hand the keys back of the car that’s provided so many memories. On the return drive to Las Vegas we pass by the Hoover Dam but there isn’t time to stop so we just get a glimpse. Worried that our car is covered in layers of orange dirt and dust from Monument Valley we stop at a self-serve car wash on the outskirts of Vegas. There are around sixteen options from four different hoses and as two dollars only buys us four minutes, it’s a race against the clock to clean the car. Of course we can’t clean a big SUV in that time so we restart and do it properly this time.

I drop Alex off at the Luxor hotel with approximately fourteen bags of belongings we’ve accumulated and race across Vegas to refuel and return the car before 2pm. All goes to plan and I meet Alex back at the pyramid shaped hotel, ready to check in. I’ve wanted to stay in this hotel since my Auntie and Uncle stayed here pre-millenium and filled my mind with the curious wonder of Las Vegas. I’m sure it’s changed a bit since then but the ridiculous feat of architecture still stands out, even when surrounded by other over-the-top hotels.

We barely have time to inhale our lunch before heading out into the 45 degrees heat to cross the strip to the MGM Grand. Alex has always wanted to see a Cirque De Soleil show in Vegas and has chosen the “Ka” show out of several options. We take our seats in the huge arena, surrounded by giant towers and gangways unsure if they are just for show or part of the show. We soon have the answer as fifteen minutes before the show is due to begin, performers start swinging from the rafters. I won’t go into details on the show but it was fantastic, there were many “how did they do that?” gasps as well as plenty of heart in mouth moments as the dare devils do their thing.

After the performance we wander the strip and stumble upon a Stranger Things experience/store…

We take a break in the huge room within the pyramid. How they keep this behemoth of a building with over 500 rooms (all with pitch black windows) cool in the searing desert heat is beyond me.

For our evening sustenance we take a short walk up the strip, past the giant fairytale castle that is Excalibur and into New York New York, a hotel that even has its own rollercoaster. Vegas is nothing if not excessive, over-the-top, totally unnecessary but why the hell not, and we’re all here for it.

From the Pyramids Egypt to the Canals of Venice

We finally have a full day to properly explore this crazy city and so after a much needed lie-in, we head out onto the strip. We see as many of the weird and wonderful hotels as we can, here are some pictures to try and piece it together.

We take lunch at one of the only ‘cheap eats’ places on the Strip, for some reason even fast food in Vegas is three times the price as usual. Afterwards we decide to be one of the only people to try out the gym at the Luxor hotel. While most guests gamble away, enjoying the excess or wallowing around in the swimming pool with a beer bucket in hand, we want to pump some iron. There’s only a handful of dedicated souls in the gym which works out just fine for us.

Now that we’ve pretended to be healthy it’s time for a night out on the town and of course, try our hand at gambling. We have a wonderful meal at Brewdog (yes they do exist out here) and decide we’ll try our luck at the Excalibur casino.

We’ve already wasted a few small dollars on little flutters, I watched in horror as my $10 disappeared in a matter of seconds on one of the new ‘digital’ slot machines. $5 on Blackjack goes a similar way. Alex tries her hand at roulette and while she does well to stay in the game for quite a while, we end up with $2 change from another $10. So it seems we’re just bleeding money and we’re not cut out for this gambling lark. We decide to pop the last $2 into a relic of a slot machine from way back when. We earn a few extra credits and have no real idea what’s happening until “FANTASTIC WIN” glows in big letters on the screen. The credits tick up and up and I figure we’ve probably won a few dollars. From $2 we jump to $61!

Not a huge win, we won’t be buying a yacht, but still it’s a great feeling to get one back on the house. The next hour or so is a blur as we carefully plot which slot machine might be lucky next. Somehow it works as we end up winning another $51 then $32 in quick succession. Of course our luck runs out eventually and we call it a night around 2am but what a fun night it has been. The maths is blurry but all in I think we came out around $100 up overall. Not bad at all.

Fear and Leaving in Las Vegas

It’s been a whirlwind couple of days in this mad place. While at first we did not understand the hype, we were eventually swept up in the ridiculousness of it all. There is nowhere on earth like Sin City and I dare say that whatever you do here you’re likely to have a good time and never forget it (unlesa you try and recreate The Hangover film of course!). But for us, it’s time to move on. We have a long, long drive ahead of us from Vegas, Nevada to Lodgepole campground in Sequoia National Park. Technically our allocated collection time is 14:30 and it’s at least a seven hour drive plus time to stock up at Walmart and eat along the way. Worried we won’t get to tonight’s camp until 2am, we chance getting there early and luckily they let us pick it up at noon. Time to hit the road again, this time in an entirely new beast…

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Adventure – Exploring the insane hotels of Las Vegas.

Excitement – Winning the jackpot (or so it felt to us paupers). Cirque De Soleil magic.

Trauma – The food options in Vegas are pretty terrible but I suppose that’s to be expected unless you pay big dollars. Not having a fridge or kettle so having to spend $10 on coffee when we’ve learnt every trick in the book to save the pennies on the basics, yeesh.